As I just passed another orbit around the sun. 48 so far shooting for a minimum of 100. I have been feeling a little philosophical of late. Mostly towards my own behavior and the way I think. I have been finding myself wanting to be alone more (this is not too hard as I have an isolated office downstairs from the main offices). I have been feeling like I am slipping into an new inner silence.
I am not sure why this is, but it is. The fact I have been getting calmer and calmer for weeks now. Not sure what is going on but I can say that I like the results that I am having. I have also been holding my tongue when I used to let a smart ass comment fly out without any filter. I am no longer feeling the need to comment on someone else’s verbiage.
Am I getting a little older or just wiser? I can feel time pass and I wonder how I have gotten to this place, I have so many memories, some bad but the majority very good. I have had an interesting life and have done a lot of things, sometimes it is easy to slip into a rut of doing the same things day after day. I have been there and some ways am there now.
Concentration alludes me sometimes when I want to focus on just one thing. This is probably a bad habit of multitasking for so many years on computers at work. Writing is helping me to focus my thoughts in one stream of consciousness typing one word at a time. Inner silence is growing within me and I don’t really know where it is going but it is getting easier each day to be calm and to look at others with a perspective of age. I talk to people younger than I and I wonder why they do what they do, then I remember that they don’t know yet what I know. I have much more to learn and do before it is time for me to completely release my resistance and return to the non-physical.