Mind your own business

As I explore myself and how to find my own path to walk along, I have
stumbled across a simple but powerful concept. To put it simply,
because it is simple, live your own business. How does this stratagem
work? It is so basic that it is easy to dismiss it out of hand until
you really think about it for a moment and do some self-exploration.

In Byron Katie’s book “Loving what is”, she talks about three
businesses. The following are examples; your business, other people’s
business and God’s business. God’s/the Universes/The Architects/Spirit (insert your creator here) 
depending on the reader’s point of view here would be things like
natural disasters, the weather, the seasons and basically anything
that we have no control over.

Other peoples businesses are anything that they do and how they live
their lives for good or bad. Your business is what you do with your
life good or bad. We spend a lot of time making ourselves miserable by
living in other people’s business and in God’s/the Universes/The
Architects business instead of our own.

Being busy trying to run other’s lives leaves no time for you to run
your life. Blaming others for perceived wrongs, cussing at traffic or
the weather or the price of gas are some examples of living outside of
your own life. Depression, anger, anxiety and old fashioned insanity
ensue from this behavior.

Now how to decipher this problem in a nutshell is to catch yourself;
for example when you think someone should do something the way you
want them to do it you are not living your own business. See how that
feels? It is crazy and futile. That other person is going to do what
they are going to do no matter what you think and to try to change
others is a sure way to make yourself unhappy.

The only person that you have the power to change is you. One of the
ways to do this is to mind your own business (live in your own
reality, not try to invade someone else’s). Like Bryon Katie says in
her book, “you can argue with reality, but you will lose 100 percent
of the time”.

Reality is simply this, others are going to do what they are going to
do and no amount of prying/nagging/manipulating is going to change
them from what they want to do. The sooner that you accept that fact
the closer you will be to living in your own business. Running your
life takes plenty of attention and there is no time like the present
to get started.

If you catch yourself thinking or saying someone “should” or
“shouldn’t” do something then you are well on your way to opening your
awareness to a new way of thinking. Be gentle with yourself this is
retraining of the mind and just like a new physical exercise it takes
time and effort. Trial and error will guide you as well as your heart.

Be aware,



One thought on “Mind your own business

  1. Hey Jim. Your post reminds me of something else. There is a therapeutical behavior method developed by Albert Ellis called REBT, or Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. REBT is noted for the “shoulds” and and our relationship to them. In short, we are continually thinking that the other person should do this or should think that way, when in fact what we should be thinking is that we would PREFER that the other person think that way or do this or that. However, if they don’t we have to know that it’s still okay. The focus of REBT is on our reaction to what the other person is saying or doing, and on reality at it is and not how we wish it to be.

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