Ok, so what comes next?

Entropy is a bitch. Make friends with it.



Don’t let anyone tell you that they know what happens after your bodily processes cease to function. No one really knows, but some who have “passed through the veil” and returned, have seen a glimpse.


Some see God, some see deceased relatives welcoming them to heaven. Then some see a dark place, a place of rest…oblivion. Those people’s stories are what I am interested in. Why is their experience with death so different than the souls that see God and heaven? I have a theory; the individuals that find that place of oblivion are at peace with death. They know that everyone and everything is subject to entropy.


Entropy, it is not just a destroyer but a recycler or sorts. Entropy is an “inevitable truth” of things. There is more to the story as you will see. Entropy works along the opposite line as well. Death, Destruction, the passage of time, an instrument of Entropy/Life, growth, development, reproduction, old age (if you are lucky) and Death that gives life to other beings. Trees grow up and take in the nutrients of their fallen ancestors. Yes the circle of Life is driven by Death and Death is driven by Life.


Humans are afraid of Death because of its seeming permanence. We spend so much time as a race running from Death, all the while knowing in our hearts no matter what religious or spiritual belief that we may hold dear to us…that Death will outpace us someday and we will submit to the final embrace. Religion is based on the fear of Death. The question is not how we should prepare for Death and the afterlife, but how are you living today?


Are you a decent human being? Do you try to help others when you can? Do you take care of your family? Do you show loyalty to your friends and loved ones? Friends that is all that we can do as people. Do the best you can every day and if you can make a difference in someone’s life. Be the superhero for the person that needs it. We are only here for a short time. Examine how you feel about Death. Don’t shy away, talk to Death. Make it your friend and hang out with it. Death isn’t to be feared any more than Life is.


Entropy is inevitable, make a peace treaty with it now while you still have a say in at least your part of the relationship. Maybe if you find the reasons you are afraid to die, then you might find a more compelling reason to live a full life.



The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. 
Mahatma Ghandi

I have been pondering the concept of forgiveness lately. forgiveness is a lost art. In our modern world we take offense at everything and I mean everything! The person who cuts in front of us at the supermarket without even an “excuse me” thrown out there or a neighbor who won’t even look at you as you drive by her home. No I don’t like to be treated poorly any more than you do…
You would think that I killed one of her kids, nope; I am not even considering it lady, too much paperwork…
It is times like those when I have to work on forgiveness the most. I have to remember that the reason that others are acting out or are rude or inconsiderate is because of them, not me.
Judging others based on just a short interaction is not fair or right. You have no idea what is going on in a person’s life, what battles they may be waging or what troubles they carry. I am not purposing that you should condone or accept poor behavior from others as we are all responsible for our own actions, but to have forgiveness in your heart and mind.
The forgiveness needs to be for you, not them. If you hold others bad intentions, anger and fear it will eat away at you little by little until you are an unhappy wretched husk of a person. Let it go, forgive both yourself and others. No one is perfect but everyone deserves a second chance.
Be strong and forgive those who are hurtful to you and others. The pain in them is evident even to the least sensitive. Open your eyes and see the truth of it. Forgiveness is not always easy but it is essential for you to move forward in your life.
Be well,

Believing your own thoughts

Do you believe what you think? Sometimes I do and in doing so I put myself in danger. When encountering something or someone we make judgements and think we know everything that we need to. Then a story is built up around what we think and a framework that sets us apart from reality is constructed.

This is trap that we all fall into and it separates us from what is true. It causes pain in our minds. Our perceptions are based on our suppositions not our experiences. We believe our own press of what we think is. Most of the time I would say that you and I are just plain wrong.

Let’s say for a moment that you saw a picture and it was of a family member and they make comments on that picture (on Facebook for instance) without thinking or inquiring into your own feelings emotions you have a negative thought about this person. How could they say that you might ask yourself?! How could they be so callous and uncaring about your feelings?

I have news for you, its is simply this, it is not about you and it never was. The only problem here is that your perception of reality is distorted. Your feelings don’t even come into it. The reason that you have hurt feelings over something like the example above is that you don’t yet realize and need to is that other people don’t do anything because or in spite of you.

If we spend time trying to live in other’s business’s and not take care of our own (for example: Telling everyone how they should run their lives) we will continually suffer for it. Living your life and being aware of who you are without judgement of anyone else is the way to personal freedom.

The next time that you feel that you want to comment on something some one has said or done, stop yourself and ask a question…How will I feel and who will I be if I don’t think that thought? How will the rest of my day go if I just let that person or situation develop that way it is going to anyway without my help, emotion or comment?


Something to think about…




Repairing relationships

Over the last couple of years it has really occurred to me that I have had a hand in doing damage to some of my relationships. Of course we all do this sort of thing. We say things in the heat of the moment trying to get our point across to someone and in doing so damage the people that we love and care about.

I know it happens to the best of us and it is a purely human thing to do. It is not easy for me to admit that I have been wrong. It is not easy for me to say that I should not have said the words that I have said. Today though I will say those things. I have been wrong and I apologize. There are many of my relationships that I should have started repairing, some newer and some decades old. Today I am starting.

Having the courage to admit that you have been wrong shows others and yourself that you have grown past the discontent of your own personal bubble. We live in personal universes and it is good to step out of them into another’s point of view sometimes for if nothing else, a simple sanity check.

Today please think about those you may have hurt with your words and deeds, step into their shoes and remember to not only forgive them but forgive yourself for any misunderstandings and harsh words that might have been said. Forgiveness and repair start at a basic level of just letting yourself be free of guilt.

Be well.


Fixing other people

I had a long talk with my wife yesterday on the topic of relationships. We shared our triumphs and tragedies’ in that area. One of the themes that emerged from this discussion was that you can’t fix other people.

One of the mistakes that younger couples seem to have is that they love their partner but there are some things that they would like to “change”. Therein lays the mistake that is made in the relationship. You see you can never get anyone to do anything unless they want to. Read that last line again before moving on…

Change is always self-directed and comes from realizing over time that changes in health, attitude, and perspective are needed as we move through life. Trying to change someone to fit into the mold that you feel is the right one, always leads to disaster.

If there is one piece of advice that I could give to others (and believe me it is hard earned advice) never but never try to change your partner. If you are with them, then it is for a reason. If you would like to see something in your beloved change, that is fine but forcing your will upon them in not.

Leading your life by example is a far better approach to helping others in areas of their lives they may be struggling in. Discretion and patience are needed. Love your partner and show them you love them by letting them be themselves while at the same time being yourself.

I for one have been the recipient of approaches, one led to divorce and the other to a good marriage that I have now. It does take two to make a relationship and I have made more than my share of mistakes in both of my marriages. I have learned a lot, suffered more but mostly learned how to love unconditionally as much as I am able.

Thanks to both my ex-wife and my current wife for the lessons that you have shared with me. I obviously needed some of them desperately.

Be well,